Behold....Vegas Blogging

My Vegas cherry was officially popped last week. And god was it good. Much better than when I lost my virginity, that's for sure. St. Pauly Boy and I had a total blast in Sin City. I have never desired to go to Las Vegas, not being a huge fan of gambling or prostitutes, I never really had the need to check it out. So when I decided that I was in need of a warm breeze to combat the negative temps we had lately, I surprised myself when I quickly decided that Vegas was calling my name.

What did I love about Vegas, you ask? Well, here's the list (in no particular order):

1) When you fly in to the city, you may as well be landing right on The Strip the airport is so close. None of those horrible traffic ridden 90 minute cab rides from JFK to Manhattan. 8 minutes and you're at your hotel, baby.

2) Hotel room on the 28th floor, facing The Strip. It was around 6pm when we walked into our room, the lights of the city casting a vibrant hue over the king sized bed with a white down comforter.....I actually jumped up and down, I was so excited.

3) Blackjack. OMG I love Blackjack. I've surprisingly never played Blackjack at a casino before so sitting down to my first table in Vegas was dope. Cheers to my favorite dealer at the Paris casino, Ned, who's name tag says "Employee of the Month" even though he had won the honor 4 months prior. A Brooklyn native, he had the accent that makes you want to drink beer and watch baseball and his features were an equal cross between Billy Joel and Sly Stallone (both of which we guessed correctly when he quizzed the table, asking which 2 celebrities he most looked like).

4) Free beer when gambling. When we weren't at a table, SPB and I were bellied up to a Blackjack slot machine. For hours. There's just no good reason to leave when they keep bringing you beer, cigs when you run out, and your $20 bill lasts for 4 hours. There's almost no point in going to the bars with that sweet set up, especially when drinks are like $8.

5) Drinking & gambling at noon on a weekday. Mandalay Bay was our favorite daytime spot. We had so much fun, we canceled our reservation for a fancy dinner that evening. Needless to say, we were tipped over by 6pm, when we made our way back to NYNY to grab a slice of pizza and ride the Manhattan Express roller coaster.

6) Manhattan Express roller coaster, New York New York. We rode twice. Back to back. After having a marathon day at the slots and a slice of pizza. Some may say it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but we survived. In fact, it was quite fun and not at all nauseating.

7) Lunch at the Venetian, on the [indoor] canal. I don't remember the name of the place, but it was a great Italian restaurant were I had the BEST caprese salad ever. The mozzarella was sliced 2 inches thick and the tomatoes were grilled. Even the guy sitting next to us was drooling over it, to his fiance's embarrassment.

8) Breakfast at the Grand Buffet in the MGM Grand. You know when you go out to breakfast and you really want an omelet AND a waffle with fresh peaches and whip cream, but they don't serve those items in the same dish and you'd have to order 2 different meals just to serve your craving? Well, not at the GB, baby. You can have it ALL. And it was all so gooo-oo-oo-d.

9) Standing on the overpass between the MGM and NYNY, feeling the warm breeze, and looking all the way down The Strip. No snow. Warm breeze. Omg, I love a warm breeze.

10) Last but certainly not least, in fact, probably one of my favorite things from our trip.....the fountain at The Bellagio. Choreographed to "Viva Las Vegas" by Elvis Presley it was by far the cheesiest and most glorious thing I've ever seen. The only thing that would have made it better is if Brad Pitt and George Clooney were there with me.

As you can see, it was a good trip. But I cannot publish this post until I've done the negative justice as well. But I only have one thing to bitch about...Vegas Guy. The bald, middle aged, married man who is attending a conference and taking advantage of the Vegas life with his colleague buddies while away from his wife and kids, going golfing during the day then returning to the casino at night polluting the public with their drunken rhetoric and who's-got-the-biggest-cock style golf stories. While attempting to have a nice dinner at a Japanese restaurant we were surrounded by a large table of Vegas Guys and it took all of my strength not to go over there, smash their heads together and stick their plastic chopsticks, which at least 5 of them were drumming on their water glasses, the sound was echoing above their loud voices through the restaurant, up their fucking noses. I. Hate. Vegas. Guy.

Despite Vegas Guy, I loved the trip from beginning to end and will gladly accept another opportunity for a getaway to the glory that is Sin City.