Same Bat Time, Same Bat Issue

Ok really, this has nothing to do with bats. Although I have a funny story about the time I was jumping on a trampoline at night and a bat hit me in the head. I lost control of my bodily coordination and my next jump landed me on the ground, screaming in fear. Not cool.

Really, this post is about my pure hatred of junk mail. Good lord I hate junk mail. Every single day we get the same useless newspapers, coupon books, and credit card offers. And god forbid we go on a one day hiatus from checking our mailbox and the goddamn thing is packed so full I can almost hear our mail person muttering explitives under his breath as he walks away from our house (or perhaps he's too busy cursing our dog, either way, he's cursing). And then comes the process of dealing with all of your junk mail. I swear to god we fill up our trash bin twice as much as we normally would, just because of all those damn coupon books!!! And I'm not a coupon girl. I just don't have the attention span for that shit. Clip the coupons, organize the coupons, remember to bring the coupons when you go shopping (or just have the coupons in your handbag at all times, adding to the 100 lbs of other worthless crap we women carry around with us....slow down, St Pauly Girl, that's another rant for another day), weed through your stack of coupons while you're at the check out to make sure that you get the 10 cents off your total bill, go through the rest of the coupons when you get home and throw 99.99% of them away because their fucking expired, for the LOVE OF GOD stop the madness.

And don't get me started on the electronic version of junk mail, as we lovingly call spam. I have been getting the same spam message for 8 months now, twice or more a week, from a wedding web site that I've never even been too. So, I follow their instructions on how to "unsuscribe" (all you spammers out there are laughing your evil laugh, knowing I only fell further into your trap) but alas, I still get the newsletter. I emailed that damn company 4 times. Then I got pissed. I told them that I've already been married for 8 fucking months and that I no longer need their services, not that I ever used their services in the first place, mind you. And then I threatened to hit the bridal web boards if their persistent spamming didn't come to an end.

Riddle me this, Batman: WHERE DOES ALL THIS SHIT COME FROM???? I bet there is a whole country out there on Planet Earth that we don't even know of, who's sole purpose is to produce mass amounts of junk mail and burden all of our lives with it. I'm officially declaring war on Junkmailastonia. Who do I need to call to get some weapons of mass destruction?