Put Down The Moron Sandwich

It takes a certain level of humality to admit when you've been a moron. Luckily for all of you, I contain just that level, so you can all enjoy a laugh over how big of a moron I really am.

I've been meaning to sign up for my company's 401(k) program, right? So I check out our intranet, read *some* of the information (because reading an entire book about 401(k)'s is just not fitting with my attention span), print out the form, fill it out, and I'm all ready to send it in. Only, I can't figure out where and when to sent it. So I check out the HR org chart, pick a person from the benefits area, and send a little email. Not more than 2 minutes later, my phone rings. What? It's the girl from HR I just emailed. Wow, she's efficient! I'm feeling a new sense of comfort with my HR department. We exchange pleasantries, hi, how ya doing, all that stuff. Then she proceeds to tell me that....I'm already enrolled in the 401(k) program at my place of employment.

Heh?

How did that....ummmm....HEH?

Apparently last Spring, we launched a new and improved 401(k) program in which HR sent out all of the info and instructions and links to stuff to read and forms to fill out and yadahootie this, yadahootie that, yeah, I didn't read or fill anything out. At all. Never even peaked at the shit. But low and behold, included in that very important information was the fact that unless you submit a form stating that you wish NOT to be enrolled, then you were automatically enrolled. At the most conservative deduction.

Allllllllllllrightythen. I have a (*&%#$ 401(k).*

I could consider myself in the "cool 401(k) kidz club" now, but considering how it all came about, I'm withdrawing my membership to said club because MORONS should not be allowed.


*St Pauly Boy, that was for you. I'm toning down my swearing, for &%^# sake.