Sheet Sheet

When my brother was little, he had a blankie. But his was no ordinary blankie, it was his "sheet sheet". This is because it actually was a sheet, for a twin sized bed. He used to drag it around with him, everywhere he went, with his thumb in his mouth and the sheet trailing from the same hand. Apparently he tripped over it so many times, my mom decided to cut it up into small, more manageable pieces of "sheet sheet".

This random story just came to me as I remembered something I was thinking about last night, related to sheets, that I decided I wanted to blog about. I went to bed super early last night because I'm working two 12 hour shifts in a row, 7am-7pm, perfecting the "project plan" (which I put in quotes because I'm still not entirely positive it's planning our project, it seems more like instructions on how to launch a shuttle into space and considering the only degree I hold is a BA in Psychology and not a PhD in Astrophysics or Rocket Science or whateeverthehellittakestolaunchagoddamnspaceshuttle, I cannot quite comprehend it). So I'm laying in bed thinking about how much I absolutely love love love clean sheets on the bed. Especially nice sheets. Nice, soft, moderate threat count, clean sheets. I love the way freshly shaved legs feel on clean sheets. I love the smell of clean sheets and the fact that the dog hasn't had a chance to bring dirt in the bed yet. A freshly made bed with clean sheets is almost orgasmic for me.

Now here's my dilemma.....I hate hate HATE washing sheets. I don't mind doing laundry as long as it's not sheets. I can't stand the process for removing the sheets from the bed and all of the pillows (which I love a lot of), taking them downstairs to the washing machine, seperating the sheets from the duvet because the sheets are white and the duvet is raisin, so unless you're a man, you know you cannot combine the two. Then you have to go back upstairs and remake the bed with fresh sheets, but you can't complete the bedmaking until the duvet is finished drying, which leaves it unfinished, which is annoying. I just suck at this part of domesticity. I'm too lazy to follow through with the whole process because there are just too many pieces to complete in order to accomplish my end goal of orgasmic bedding.

So no matter how much I love clean sheets, I always allow them to go unwashed for way too long, due to the fact that my laziness always wins the grudge match. For once I'd like to see clean sheets come out on top.