C I T (DIYM)

We* have this saying at work: C I T (DIYM). It stands for Calm Yourself, Internalize, Therapy Later (Drink If You Must). I'm officially irritated at this stupid phrase. Don't tell me to calm myself like I'm a 3 year old having a tantrum at Target because my mom won't buy me a Blow Pop. I'm not the kind of person who internalizes, well, anything, so if you don't want to hear it, leave the room. And if I'm about to have a freaking melt down, your damn right I'm going to therapy, like, right now. Screw you, I can get therapy now if I wanna! And I love how they threw the DIYM in there so they could sound like they're so part of the fabulous happy hour scene that is downtown Minneapolis, where they go to order their cheap ass glass of wine or pretentious brand of beer, and have loud and obnoxious conversations about how oppressed they all are in Corporate America (using the native corporate-speak dialect, mind you).

Here's my new phrase to keep me going:

T T P P A S I U Y A (IGTHHWYF)
Take That Project Plan And Shove It Up Your Ass (I'm Going To Happy Hour Without You Freaks)

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*When I say "we" I mean not me because I didn't make up this stupid phrase and it certainly hasn't helped me through anything so far.