M.I.A.

Yeah. I've definitely been missing in action lately, haven't I? The sad thing about it though, there has not been any action on my end. None, whatsoever. So I guess I'm just M. For missing.

I've been home sick with tonsillitis. I missed 4 days of work last week, my tonsils were the size of giant superballs, I could barely swallow my own spit. Lovely, isn't it? St. Pauly Boy was in Californeeah, so I was left relying on Stinky Pete to take care of me. As you can imagine, that didn't work so good. He doesn't necessarily comprehend when I'm not feeling up to taking him for a walk or playing with him in the yard. He just barks at me, completely oblivious to the shooting pain in my throat made worse by the shrill tone of his bark. You know that saying, "His bark is worse than his bite."? Yeah, it's true. I'd much rather he naw of my entire right arm than bark at me while I'm sick. Just chew it off, Pete. At least then I can focus on that pain, instead of the viral war on my tonsils.

But the good news is, I'm feeling better. Slowly but surely. The boys (my tonsils, I've named them Evil and Mean) have deflated since last Tuesday when they blew up like beach balls. Evil is still being a bit of a pain in my neck, literally, and just under my ear too, but Mean has pretty much given up and is taking his defeat quite well, I assure you. The funny thing is, people keep telling me the same thing.....have your tonsils taken out. As if it's a procedure you can order at the Walgreen's drive-through. Yeah, prescription for St. Pauly Girl and a Tonsillectomy, to go please. What people don't understand is that the procedure for removing one's tonsils is actually quite dangerous. As we get older, as in past the age of 10, when we officially enter senior citizen status apparently, the wounds created by the removal process aren't able to heal quickly enough. You run a very high risk of bleeding to death. Sounds peachy. I'm gonna keep my tonsils, thank you. They are a pain in the ass (or neck, if you will) but dammit, at least I'm alive!

What my real concern is, if I'm considered a senior citizen already because I'm too old to have my tonsils taken out, then why the hell am I not getting the damn discount on Wednesdays???